He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
