Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize