i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Semen is not good for contacts.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
