In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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