you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
