Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
This is classic penis vs brain.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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