Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
