Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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