No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Everclear isn't food dammit
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
