no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
