Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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