This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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