Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
