The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
