you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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