The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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