Capitaan dildo arrescate!
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
