The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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