he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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