Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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