and you said cock pushups were impossible
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
