her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
