Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
