We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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