hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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