how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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