Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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