my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
