she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
