...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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