What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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