her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
