Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I AM VODKA MAN
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
