i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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