I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
