Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
We are two peas in an std pod
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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