Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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