...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
