Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
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