you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
My life is pants optional.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
