I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
