Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Randomize
