If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
