I wish my penis had an off switch
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
