apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
