The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
