420 ftw
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
