forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Randomize
