Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
