needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
