so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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