She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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