you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
nutella sex= disaster
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
