used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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