Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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