Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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