I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
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