somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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