i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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