my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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