If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
