She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
we're so committed to being not committed
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
