i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
